I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
