Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
