My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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