She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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