I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
