I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
