I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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