Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
