its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
