i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
