I wish I could punch you in the face.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
