Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
