Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
