Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just puked most of my soul out..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
