i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
