I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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