oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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