How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize
