I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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