Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There are leaves in my underwear?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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