As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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