Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
and she was petting her beer can
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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