If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
