sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
