you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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