Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
