Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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