That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
