Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
