have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
