Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This baby is an asshole
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
