im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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