so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
