i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
