i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
