Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
