I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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