Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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