I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
