I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
