Pregnant stripper...not hot.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
