I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
