We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
