her vagine was all disorganized.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
