Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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