Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
