Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
