And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
