I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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