I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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