At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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