I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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