Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
