If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
