if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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