I feel great
I just peed on a car
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
