hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We have started to decorate penises.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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