i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
